An Appreciated Friendship

history begins during the last semester of uni.. my project grp lacked of 1 member and we had news that a gal from another group was searching for a grp (or rather her orginal proj group told her they were full and could not take her in, leaving her to find her own grp), we willingly took her in that was how we got to know M till today.. during that period of time, we were mugging our projs together and got close but i did not see that competitive side of M yet.. Being just 1 yr, hard to see as most of time after sch, u eagerly head home.. our friendship begun closer after we graduated  as we were all seeking jobs at the same time, we would go for our occasional weekend suppers, occassional meet ups at causeway pt when we are at home and not doing anything..

But i can admit that i do not know when our friendship became distant.. ever since i got married, i begin to feel her competitive side – always having branded goods (reason she gives when u ask her: husband bought the key pouch/bag/wadever cos its their monthly anniversary), u read that? Monthly anniversary?!?!?! this only occured to me when i was in my TEENs!!!!! who does such things or probably i don’t do such “celebrations” now.. for wad u need mthly anniversary? and to have a gift every month u mean? or eat super expensive food?? is it really necessary?? i find yearly annivesary more meaningful..her other reason of having can simply be “rather bored of my small wallet, so deciding to get a long wallet”.. call this clever spending?? having a condo at west coast (which the exterior of the bldg looks outdated to me and at such an “off” location, she thinks vr highly of her condo and paying i think $700+k for that “off-site” location? is it worth it? oh plus that 30k reno and mthly additional top up for the house..), i think its nothing to be so highly about.. i guess i shall say for the last time , her “FACE” is so impt to her that she wants all of us to feel that she is above us.. i am simply not up to this high/low game.. its vr childish and simply stupid.. not sure if the other friends of ours realise this side of her but she does definitely gives me this feeling and to re-assure my feelings are correct, hubby also feels exactly the same way as me..

why would my blog title be appreciated friendship?? well simply and straight-forward – M is not a person who will appreciate her friends for their help even when she says “thank you”, u can sense its not sincere and takes for granted. she will not be sensitive towards the way pple think or feel… whatever was said about her above and here made me realise 1 thing: “is it because of this character which she did not realise and actually made her without a proj grp last time? her previous proj grp mates might have realised and felt it and thats why she was not in their proj grp?” hubby told me that it might be the reason or even a possibility.

there were many instances/occassions that made me realise she does not have the heart of appreciation.. no.1 instance: we used to play mj at chris’s (our common guy fren) house before i got married and we would play till the wee hours, at that time, chris will usually send me and M home.. now that i am married, whenever we have our mj sessions, M will expect Chris to send her home even if its around 9+pm… who are you to expect such treatment?!?!? S’pore’s MRT/cab all out of order is it?? if i can take a cab/mrt home, why cant she??? oh is it that her husband used to drive her everywhere, so she also expects such treatment? if it is, how ridiculous and selfish is that?!?!?! i did not even dare ask Chris to fetch me and hubby home.. she also commented that from her house (woodlands) to my home (aljunied) is further than going to chris’s home (hougang)…. to me coming to my house is more direct for her.. Hello Hougang is further up from my place, pls la.. oh yes i forget and know why she has no directional sense  cos she does not even know how to walk from Takashimaya to Plaza Sing!!! how bad is that can you tell me? no.2 instance: there was a day when we arranged to meet up with the rest for dinner, the usual topic will be where to eat and where to meet right? venue was finally agreed at orchard between me and M, den we had to also ask another gf (kristina) if she is ok on the venue.. M can say “Kristina sure ok de, anyway she is rather shui bian” HUH?!?! wad u mean by this? so no need to ask out of respect is it? so wad if she is rather shui bian? in actual fact kristina preferred to head to Bugis but M wans orchard!! u see how she can take pple for granted? even when i know Kristina should be ok or shui bian, its always good to ask the other party if its really ok.. of course M will say no worries cos she is thinking for herself! no 3 instance: M’s wedding is this coming december, chris’s wedding is 2 weeks later from now.. previous week, chris asked if i did save my songs which i played throughout my wedding dinner as he wanted to borrow it (of course in the end i did not lend it as hubby was not willing to do so and it was really that i could not find the cd), M conveniently replied the email thread to me saying “yaya, also lend me hor”..  Excuse me, is it you getting married??? if its your wedding dinner, don’t you wan to put in the least bit of effort to find the songs for your own wedding dinner than want to replicate from mine? don’t you want have a little more creativity in preparing your own wedding? or simply how lazy M can be?? or probably com idiot –> don’t know how to download songs.. M should know what are the songs she likes to have.. When she does not know something and ask you, you advise her on it (be it whatever) she will always have this very irritating reply “oh really, i don’t know about it, i don’t know all these things one” –> dunno then bloody hell listen and learn la, y shake your head and gives me the expression as if you are not interested or do not want to learn.. this kind of lazy attitude really puts pple off.

lately my converstaions with her have became rather cold and its only surface talk.. i would not wan to tell her anything deeper (ike wad i bought, wad i did etc) even if i am gg on a holiday, i dun even feel like telling her.. i should be happy to tell my own gf about such things but i realise i cannot do so anymore with her.. a good gf or simply a gd fren is someone who appreciates who you are and share happiness with you – simple things like enjoying each other’s company is good enough. not someone who seems to be competing with u everytime u meet up with her and subtly trying to show you that she is better than u… i am very very very fed up and tired of having conversations with her.. she asks you something (that you have told her before), when u reply her with ur answer, she will reply you with an answer to subtly tell you that she is “higher” or have “higher” taste. what is this??

i am also slowly realising that i am not happy meeting up with M.. however, i know i will still be seeing her at chris’s wedding and going to her own wedding.. who knows she might also be complaining about me on the other side.. Frankly,  i rather go out with hubby’s frens which i feel that they are really true & sincere frens whom we give each other advices/encouragement, sharing our happiness for each other and we appreciate each other as who/whom they are.  That’s exactly how friends should be..

i cannot foresee where this friendship is going and i will just let it be.. i really adpot the “cannot be bothered” attitude towards her.. hubby knows my disappointment but just told me to maintain a mutual feeling..

I am just happy being myself…


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