Category Archives: Friends

where on earth is this place?

6th June was Chris and Jen’s wedding.. Finally after 9 years!! how long is that!! Anyway, congrats to both!! As a good friend of the groom (Chris), i am very proud and happy for him..

However the venue was way too far!! their wedding was held at Seletar Country Club… where is this place? i had to nudge my hubby and ask him if we were going to the right place as our cab driver had to enter Seletar Camp in order to reach the country club! True enough, the country club is way right inside the camp.. Now i understand why the groom complained his mum was not happy with the venue. In my heart, i told myself, which parent will be happy when you have chosen such an inconvenient place for your wedding and your relatives have to travel so far and worse they are not familiar with the place! this i would not blame the groom’s mum for being unhappy about it. Best of all, they only have 1 shuttle bus at 1 timing. That does not make sense to me and now you know the reason y me and hubby took cab.

i was tasked to help out at the reception table. the name and table list was a last minute job and name list was not useful at all as it did not serve much help to search for names. there was also a ‘commotion’ about swopping seats as 1 of the gals (lynn, the bride’s ‘sister’) refused to sit alone, and hell was she daring enough to say out the names of whom were seating together in my table, not being aware that the names mentioned were around in the makeup room! (she said my name and hubby’s not knowing that we are actually looking at her). in any way, who is she to rearrange the seating arrangement?! and holy cow, she is also the arrogant MC  which me and hubby disliked. 

now come to the food and service part. service totally sucks.. your cup can be emptied for the longest time and not being filled until you have instructed the waiter/waitress to do so.. cold dish was a so-so dish, not very fantastic but ok. sharksfin was diluted and prawns were not fresh. overall flavour of food was not to my standard. when i learnt that the price of 1 table is $700+, i was wondering hotels along orchard road are also around the same price, y not have it there which is much more convenient and i think the food is so much better. well, all these were not mentioned to the groom of course, as i respect him and i am happy for him. as long as he is happy, thats all it matters.

however for the bride, she is just a mutual friend to me. most of the time, i respect the groom more that i respect her as she has very low EQ. she smsed me that night to ask if any of us knew where her butterfly pens (used to sign the guest book) were kept. i replied her sms saying that i have packed it in the box and left if under the recep table (this was the instruction given by her list before the wedding – “at 8pm, pack up of recep table and those unimportant things, put it under the recep table”). she continued to ask if it was under the table or returned to the room and i replied her its under the table as per her instructions on the list. Today i got to know that the pens belongs to her SIL. But to me, such things you have to check also. haiz.. her behaviour is just like her “good jie meis” for the wedding. 

here are 2 pictures i took with hubby at recep table while we are waiting for guest arrival.











An Appreciated Friendship

history begins during the last semester of uni.. my project grp lacked of 1 member and we had news that a gal from another group was searching for a grp (or rather her orginal proj group told her they were full and could not take her in, leaving her to find her own grp), we willingly took her in that was how we got to know M till today.. during that period of time, we were mugging our projs together and got close but i did not see that competitive side of M yet.. Being just 1 yr, hard to see as most of time after sch, u eagerly head home.. our friendship begun closer after we graduated  as we were all seeking jobs at the same time, we would go for our occasional weekend suppers, occassional meet ups at causeway pt when we are at home and not doing anything..

But i can admit that i do not know when our friendship became distant.. ever since i got married, i begin to feel her competitive side – always having branded goods (reason she gives when u ask her: husband bought the key pouch/bag/wadever cos its their monthly anniversary), u read that? Monthly anniversary?!?!?! this only occured to me when i was in my TEENs!!!!! who does such things or probably i don’t do such “celebrations” now.. for wad u need mthly anniversary? and to have a gift every month u mean? or eat super expensive food?? is it really necessary?? i find yearly annivesary more meaningful..her other reason of having can simply be “rather bored of my small wallet, so deciding to get a long wallet”.. call this clever spending?? having a condo at west coast (which the exterior of the bldg looks outdated to me and at such an “off” location, she thinks vr highly of her condo and paying i think $700+k for that “off-site” location? is it worth it? oh plus that 30k reno and mthly additional top up for the house..), i think its nothing to be so highly about.. i guess i shall say for the last time , her “FACE” is so impt to her that she wants all of us to feel that she is above us.. i am simply not up to this high/low game.. its vr childish and simply stupid.. not sure if the other friends of ours realise this side of her but she does definitely gives me this feeling and to re-assure my feelings are correct, hubby also feels exactly the same way as me..

why would my blog title be appreciated friendship?? well simply and straight-forward – M is not a person who will appreciate her friends for their help even when she says “thank you”, u can sense its not sincere and takes for granted. she will not be sensitive towards the way pple think or feel… whatever was said about her above and here made me realise 1 thing: “is it because of this character which she did not realise and actually made her without a proj grp last time? her previous proj grp mates might have realised and felt it and thats why she was not in their proj grp?” hubby told me that it might be the reason or even a possibility.

there were many instances/occassions that made me realise she does not have the heart of appreciation.. no.1 instance: we used to play mj at chris’s (our common guy fren) house before i got married and we would play till the wee hours, at that time, chris will usually send me and M home.. now that i am married, whenever we have our mj sessions, M will expect Chris to send her home even if its around 9+pm… who are you to expect such treatment?!?!? S’pore’s MRT/cab all out of order is it?? if i can take a cab/mrt home, why cant she??? oh is it that her husband used to drive her everywhere, so she also expects such treatment? if it is, how ridiculous and selfish is that?!?!?! i did not even dare ask Chris to fetch me and hubby home.. she also commented that from her house (woodlands) to my home (aljunied) is further than going to chris’s home (hougang)…. to me coming to my house is more direct for her.. Hello Hougang is further up from my place, pls la.. oh yes i forget and know why she has no directional sense  cos she does not even know how to walk from Takashimaya to Plaza Sing!!! how bad is that can you tell me? no.2 instance: there was a day when we arranged to meet up with the rest for dinner, the usual topic will be where to eat and where to meet right? venue was finally agreed at orchard between me and M, den we had to also ask another gf (kristina) if she is ok on the venue.. M can say “Kristina sure ok de, anyway she is rather shui bian” HUH?!?! wad u mean by this? so no need to ask out of respect is it? so wad if she is rather shui bian? in actual fact kristina preferred to head to Bugis but M wans orchard!! u see how she can take pple for granted? even when i know Kristina should be ok or shui bian, its always good to ask the other party if its really ok.. of course M will say no worries cos she is thinking for herself! no 3 instance: M’s wedding is this coming december, chris’s wedding is 2 weeks later from now.. previous week, chris asked if i did save my songs which i played throughout my wedding dinner as he wanted to borrow it (of course in the end i did not lend it as hubby was not willing to do so and it was really that i could not find the cd), M conveniently replied the email thread to me saying “yaya, also lend me hor”..  Excuse me, is it you getting married??? if its your wedding dinner, don’t you wan to put in the least bit of effort to find the songs for your own wedding dinner than want to replicate from mine? don’t you want have a little more creativity in preparing your own wedding? or simply how lazy M can be?? or probably com idiot –> don’t know how to download songs.. M should know what are the songs she likes to have.. When she does not know something and ask you, you advise her on it (be it whatever) she will always have this very irritating reply “oh really, i don’t know about it, i don’t know all these things one” –> dunno then bloody hell listen and learn la, y shake your head and gives me the expression as if you are not interested or do not want to learn.. this kind of lazy attitude really puts pple off.

lately my converstaions with her have became rather cold and its only surface talk.. i would not wan to tell her anything deeper (ike wad i bought, wad i did etc) even if i am gg on a holiday, i dun even feel like telling her.. i should be happy to tell my own gf about such things but i realise i cannot do so anymore with her.. a good gf or simply a gd fren is someone who appreciates who you are and share happiness with you – simple things like enjoying each other’s company is good enough. not someone who seems to be competing with u everytime u meet up with her and subtly trying to show you that she is better than u… i am very very very fed up and tired of having conversations with her.. she asks you something (that you have told her before), when u reply her with ur answer, she will reply you with an answer to subtly tell you that she is “higher” or have “higher” taste. what is this??

i am also slowly realising that i am not happy meeting up with M.. however, i know i will still be seeing her at chris’s wedding and going to her own wedding.. who knows she might also be complaining about me on the other side.. Frankly,  i rather go out with hubby’s frens which i feel that they are really true & sincere frens whom we give each other advices/encouragement, sharing our happiness for each other and we appreciate each other as who/whom they are.  That’s exactly how friends should be..

i cannot foresee where this friendship is going and i will just let it be.. i really adpot the “cannot be bothered” attitude towards her.. hubby knows my disappointment but just told me to maintain a mutual feeling..

I am just happy being myself…

clever spending or thrifty

i dunno about people these days… they say economy is bad but yet you see them buying/shopping and even travelling.. is it me being a scardy cat by not going to travel or even spend money to shop? or is it me being not clever in my spending that i don’t know where to put my money? reason for me being so pent up on such issues its because it have been accumulating between the friend and me. yes i must admit that i earn lesser compared to the friend but the friend always complains of not earning enough.. but what is enough?? nothing is enough! since knowing the friend, i always noticed that the friend has been splurging money of the husband on branded stuff.. months after months, a new branded stuff lands on friend’s lap. friend’s excuse will be “monthly anniversary gift”, “valentines gift”, “birthday gift”, or simply cos the husband is not around so thats how the gift comes along… this implies the meaning to me that only branded stuff satisfies the friend??? why cant a simple dinner at a nice, cosy cafe be a annivesary gift?? such time spent with the loved one beats nothing to a branded bag! worse of all, the friend’s house is gonna be done up by a designer not a contractor! i have asked if they have the savings for reno and how they are going to pay for furnitures and friend’s answer is “not sure on the savings” and “will be signing installments for the furnitures”.. immediately the “DIE” word came to my mind… i keep telling myself countless times that maybe friend’s husband really earns alot and their income is really vr good.. but not forgetting their monthly car loan, monthly house loan extra top up, monthly car maintainence, the precious BOSE system, monthly utilities bills (yet to start) and many more .. how much can they have at the end of every month?

i understand there is a j/a for the both of them which is good and i assume that the amount saved in the j/a is alot. the friend also wants nice furnitures (in terms of designer furnitures).. why cant a person be more humble? must the friend always want to show people that they are well to do?? no need for such things right? the friend’s character is someone who loves “FACE” alot but even by getting the best things or the nicest things, is the friend really happy? the friend likes to get proposals and expensive stuff from the husband but is it necessary? Honestly speaking, the price paid for those branded stuff are really not worth it. i know my hubby agrees with me.. we are merely on our verge of fainting whenever we calculate the friend’s commitments.. but i still keep telling myself and hubby to give the friend the benefit of doubt.

just yesterday, when the friend and I were talking that the economy now is really very bad, friend divuldge to me that the company is having wage freeze. to everyone now, wage freeze/cut is really scary and happening everywhere.. i believe everyone is on their toes now hoping this will not happen.. BUT the friend seems not perturbed by such news and friend even mentioned that in june, friend and hubby might be going for a short trip after the house is done (and even mentioned to husband not to  expensive). when i said that friend was rich, friend told me its “CLEVER SPENDING”. pls explain to me how is this clever spending? the wedding is not done, the house is about to start reno soon, the honeymoon is not gone, wouldn’t saving that bit of money for the upcoming wedding help abit or even doing up the house? i am not trying to indicate that i am jealous of the friend but yes i am not earning as much as the friend but i am talking about being realistic here. y stay so high up when there is a simple life to lead? who does not want a pretty nice house or a car or many branded goods? but can there be a guarantee that the job will stay? can there be a guarantee that there is no wage cut in the later months? what if one day the friend has to downgrade? can the friend take it? or the friend is just taking things for granted too much? *big huge sigh*

maybe its my problem is it? me being too careful with my money? me too poor in my financial planning? me being too cautious? or simply me too poor to afford?  seeing hubby working out finances yesterday, i am happy we are not taking up another loan and believe we can save more than the friend do by putting our trave plans on hold for this year. and i know 2010 would be an even better year for both of us to look forward to.


An Acquintance

going through my pile of cards and sticky notes given by V, it gave me sadness.. not because i was in love with her or envy her (and i know i wun envy her in this lifetime) but because of the memories that reminded me of our friendship. strangely and i don’t know how our friendship has became acquintances. and coincidentally, my vr gd gf M knew V as well… wad a link i must say.. V is the gf of B (M’s husband’s colleague) – so confusing right? latest updates about V are always from M and needless to say the world’s reknown technology – FB. and not forgetting her  showout comments… DUH (wants the whole wide world to know kind of thing).

Photos of V have always saddened me and i was very very tempted to delete her from FB.. there is always a saying that goes “Friendship is just like a relationship, it needs 2 hands to clap” but i dun see it between me and V. me trying to connect back to the friendship after she gets back from australia but i guess its a one-sided affair (and you know i hate being a 1-sided thingy).

M says she has changed alot (being boastful with her luxe and comparing this and that with M, and so yearning for “THE PROPOSAL” to happen). If i did not remember wrongly, since last year her a few of her FB shoutout comments were – “V is waiting for the day to arrive”, “V is tired of waiting for that day” etc… now she has it and i believe she is so HAPPY about it that she has to post photos of fake roses and heart balloons with the Destinee ring… DUH… and yes there are talks between me and M that V looks funny (my husband says V’s head is too big with small mouth – not proportiate, i say her makeup is simply UGs and people said she looks like a mama-san..). V is just lucky to have fair and gd skin and being tall..

But then again that does not equates to being “PRETTY” – which i think V feels she is very pretty (keeping snapping photos of herself in dresses la, toilets la.. for what?!?!?!) still the old saying of  “Beauty comes from within” and i truely believe that..

i guess V truely needs to self-reflect! Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm….